"I’d rather be hated for who I am and what I am than be loved for who and what I am not" -Author Unknown
About Me
- Dithu
- West Des Moines, Iowa, United States
- A confused soul, trying to seek answers to questions and puzzles (albeit stupid and silly) life poses. Living life a little, amidst the perplexity!! :)
17 comments:
"Accept/Love me for what I am" is an oft heard cliché which often arouses interest in me for its contradicting nature. It is the most wonderful attitude/outlook that everyone would love to see around but is very much conspicuous by its absence. Still worse people would want to receive it if given for free but deny it unto others owing to associated compromises they may have to bear with.
Thank God, Mother nature has provided every one of us with one set of people namely parents who would shower us with such an unconditional love. Now, is that all that one can expect in life. I guess no. There are still people on earth who can give it to us but unfortunately their numbers are dwindling given the mechanization of life and commercialization of values and commoditization of human relationships. Hence given such a rarity as with any other elements in life, we need to use it very less or expect it less as applicable.
So the question boils down to whom should we practically expect to accept/love us for what we are and if they do, to what extent and and how long. Also what in us should or can they accept, which brings us the next question of who we are ?( or the clichéd question "Who am I?" )
Well, I am know as a resource in my company, an account holder in my bank, devotee in my temple, volunteer in my organization, son/brother etc.. in my family , joker to my friends etc… which points to the varied roles that we need to don in our daily life. To categorize on a generic note, we can be classified into the following roles:
1) An individual ( comprising of attitude, appearance,age,orientation,personality, value systems, belief etc.. what can loosely be called as "Soft Skills" majority of which is primarily earned than bequeathed )
2) A Professional (Boss , Subordinate ,compatriot)
3) A Family person (Father, mother, brother, sister, War-War githeeru :) ..list is endless )
4) A Social entity (as in organizations /clubs/road traffic.. etc)
5) A formless/shapeless/omnipotent/all pervading spirit.
Now analyzing each one in the reverse order, my take one each one is as follows:
1) Though I agree we are ultimately formless/shapeless/omnipotent/all pervading spirit, it is not tangible though on a day-to-day operation. Where and how can I see whether someone accepts my soul for what it is? And how does it matter to the soul at all? So this aspect of ME is not concerned with anything external at all.
2) The Social entity of ME is the most frustrated part of all coz even though I know that something is wrong or someone is wrong, I really can't help it as I am tied to the "Safe-Mode" kinda lifestyle, but not heartless though!!. Here I am forced to accept every one and any one for what they are(feel like kicking a guy who honks in a traffic signal or p**ing at odd places..but I can't ) and all that I can try is to ensure that people are not aware that have already accepted me (Ele mare kai !!)
3) The family entity of me is a mixed bag , as in the instances of relatives external to the immediate family , its better to accept people for what they are considering the limited amount of time that we spend with one another. The immediate family members sometimes I want them to accept me for what I am and sometimes point out at my torn back before anyone else sees it.
4) Professionally, I do not want people to accept me for what I am. Had my boss not been stern when I made a mistake for the first time, Had I not been thrown out of a meeting for not having prepared well and talking "English" instead of stuff… definitely I would not have been what I am today.
5) Last , but not the least and the most important it’s the individual… ME, MYSELF & I.
Well, all that I can do is " Karmanye vaadhi kaarsthe……." And I don't have the outcome in my hands. But its my duty to give 110% to anything I do. If some ones accepts me for what I am then fine, if not , then also fine and I would take that as a challenge to better myself.
When it comes to accepting others,I whole heartedly concur with the idea accepting others on a "as-is" condition & respecting their viewpoints irrespective of their caste/creed/gender/orientation/nationality/status.
One more point of interest is who in life should ideally accept you for what you are as a person.
Well parents have no choice coz kids are but their own part, siblings and friends .. yes to a large extent ,but to what length and how will it really affect you is debatable.
All others , well I guess there is no point discussing it , which leaves us with one special person called “spouse/partner” discussion on whom is beyond the scope of this text .
To conclude, "Accept/Love me for what I am" is a beautiful idea/attitude which we all should ideally strive to achieve. But since the only person whom I can really change or control is ME,MYSELF & I and also since I can only GIVE I would certainly give it to any individual real self.
If I get one then enjoy maadi, else I can always indulge in the vicarious pleasure and there is no dearth for movies which eulogizes the concept of " Preethi/Amara Prema/Tyaga/Vaathsyala etc..
Of course you have Dr.RajKumar's movies which are enough to fill your heart than bleed your heart with the type of movies yester years actress Shruthi used to act " Tavarina Thottilu, Tavarina Bhagya, Tavarina series…..then Mangalya series….and the likes.
To cap it all, let's not forget the immortal lines of Shakespeare "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances..." which has metamorphasised itself to the changing times but remains the unsaid reality of life.
Hmm….thats my take on the topic.
Would appreciate an apt response.
Also would request you to
1) Give a rating of a scale of 1 to 10 for
a) Clarity of Thought
b) Content and flow.
c) Presentation
2) Give a co-relation coefficient (between -1 to +1).
Waiting for ur response........hopefully by saturday.
co-relation coefficient:
-1 : Dead Opposite
0: Thanks but no thanks
+1 : Cannot agree more than this.
Scores can be anything between -1 to +1.
Hope u give me a chance to reveal myself at the earliest at same time do justice to my efforts!!
Ur comments are always longer than my posts!!:D I ll reply to this at the earliest.
"Ur comments are always longer than my posts!!" hope its just a matter of fact.
Any intelligent irony/euphemism is welcomed to be made explicit!!
Ohh well.. Am not any intelligent to make one such comment unlike u!!
The consciousness of who I am is the answer to the final quest as i said else where. To know one self is to know all. And that is the only thing that's emphasised: no dogma, no caste, no creed, no school of thought, no religion! By a simple process of inner observation you come to realize oneself. And the moment u know who u r, immediately you know the essential core of all existence.
Having said this, I here would like to repeat what chinmayanandji often quotes: That which feels "I AM" this is "I"; neither mind nor matter. It is eternal. The external things exist because of the imaginations of this "I"!
Reality is not what it seems. Human relationships is a trivial topic that can be debated upon endlessly.
Coming to society, it really wants you dead, not alive. The whole effort ios to kill who you are and yet use u as an efficient mechanism. It has succeeded to do so in all itrs efficiency. It is more interested in commodities than in human growth! Hence it goes on to preaching to people to be peaceful, to be obedient(as in to curb ur thoughts), to be undisturbing. It praises such peace as if it is something divine. But one can opt to be peaceful in this way, only if one is stupid, if one cant see the cost one is paying for sucha dead peace, which is not worth anything at all. He is losing his freedom, his intelligence, his joy, his love, his whole quality of being adventurous. His whole being is lost. Now for what joy or higher motive are you sacrificing your being? He jus becomes a convenient spoke in the wheel that can be replaceable. If A dies he can be replaced by B, and if B dies he can be replaced by D or C, because they were not individuals, they were only functionaries. And all the religions have tried for this. As Osho says, 'A change of vision is the remedy'. At the end of it lemme make my point: 'You are who you are, if people can't accept that, oh well....you are not here to impress everyone. You jus cannot. You don't have to change who you are for other people's benefit'. I might sound curt but that is all there is to it.
N well, as far as rating what you have written, sorry I would like to leave it here. I am no judge to do it. But must say commendable for I appreciate the thought you given before the careful write up! Keep it up! As always I am overwhelmed! :) Thanks again for writing.
Thanks for ur considerate reply.
As always my replies/ comments are based on the larger than life idea/thoughts behind ur posts & hence the length of it!
Appreciate all ur thoughts and all that I can say is, I fully agree on a large part of it and owing to the practicality aspect of it I wud take the reamining with a pinch of salt!!
Now....coming to my identity....
Can u hazard a guess??........
I guess I have given a few well thought out subtle covert clues....
Ondhe ondhu saarthi try maadi nodi:):):)
"Known Unknown"........a bit of lateral thinking shud give it away,I am sure u r intelligent enuf ...illa andhru...parvagilla:)
Cheers,
Known Unknown( gonna sign off like this for the last time :)
Hey.. I jus put my thoughts afore.. ashte! Hope u din mind! Remember, euphemism!!?? ;)
And well, am bad at takin a guess.. It ll be too vague. I ll wait for you to reveal yourself.
And now "Mr.Raghunand"(finally), what do u have to say?
regarding?? :)
The 'blog' of course.. :)
needless to say ...Its just amazing!!
uh?? well, am humbled.. but honestly??
I thought u would present ur contra-view!
& wat do u have to say??.. about my approach:)
contra-view astondh yenoo ilaa seriously:)
Its just tat I wont agree with u 100%.
No one can after all !!
I have no guarantee.
A claim to perfection I have not.
Perfect I cannot be.
I, like you.....am human.
Prone to make mistakes.
Failure is not a character flaw,
Just a part of the human makeup.
I live, I laugh and I also learn.
My knowledge is incomplete.
I am searching all the time,
in waking hours as well as sleep.
I have a long road to travel,
Learn the lessons on the way.
Wisdom I shall acrue.
Accept me as I am
Because I am ....Me,Myself & I.
Post a Comment